The OCD voice

The OCD voice

When the OCD voice breaks in...
It's like a thief in the night 
and your immediate reaction is to freeze.

You alone don't feel able it face it,
you desire an army to be able to 
defeat them. But where's the army?

They are not there, because it's just you.
You vs the OCD voice, and you know
it doesn't belong in here.

But it's too difficult to fight them alone. 
So you listen. You listen carefully
and do exactly as the voice says. 

Because thats the way it's always been. 
The OCD voice who broke in
has always been the one who wins. 

You can't ignore it, trust me I've tried. 
You can't even distract yourself 
even when thats what the professionals suggest. 

You cave in. 
The rituals go ahead to quiet the OCD voice in your head. 
But listening makes the voice louder. 

There is no way of silencing it. 
You're in this pattern now.
Of listening, of doing what it says and then listening again.

There theres the "bonus" thoughts.
The ones thrown in for 'good measure.'
They just plague your mind for a long time. 

There is no shaking them off,
like Taylor would say.
Because the intrusive thoughts cling on. Tight. 

They convince you you've completely messed up.
Over and over again. 
They promise you've done something terrible. 

Nothing can fix this.
Nothing can convince you otherwise,
unless by now the army has awoken in your head. 

And then the army will challenge the OCD voice, 
and challenged it will be,
as you declare it's not all true. 

In fact, OCD, you tell a whole lot of lies.
And it's time for me
and the army in my head to face you.

This is not going to defeat me, 
OCD you are not going to call my brain home. 
You're here only short term. 

Good riddance, I shall say 
as I find the fight to face 
this monster, the OCD voice in my head.


Written by Steph Corris - June 2019